Shaving While Stoned: 5 Reasons It's a Bad Idea

Shaving while stoned: it seems like it could work — until it absolutely doesn’t. Getting really high before you pick up a razor is the kind of decision that makes perfect sense in your head and zero sense in the mirror. Fordee learned this the hard way, and now you get to enjoy the chaos.

5 Reasons Shaving While Stoned Is a Terrible Idea

1. Your Hands Stop Cooperating

Cannabis affects fine motor control. Shaving while stoned means asking your hands to do precise work while your brain is floating somewhere above the bathroom ceiling. Razors are sharp. This math does not work in your favour.

2. You Forget Where You Started

You’ll shave the same patch three times and completely miss another spot. Shaving while stoned leads to the kind of patchy, uneven results that your boss will definitely notice on Monday morning.

3. Time Gets Weird

A ten-minute shave can stretch into forty-five minutes when you’re stoned — or you’ll think you’ve been thorough when you’ve only been at it for thirty seconds. Either way, your perception of how long this is taking is completely unreliable.

4. Mirrors Become Fascinating

Shaving requires actually looking at your face. When you’re stoned, the mirror becomes a rabbit hole. You’ll catch yourself staring intensely at your own pores, wondering deep thoughts, while the shaving cream dries to a crust on your chin.

5. The Solace at the End Is Still Hilarious

As Fordee puts it in the video — at least you don’t have to shave your balls, right? There’s always a silver lining when shaving while stoned. You find it. Eventually.