One Week Back in the USA: 5 Stoner Adventures in LA

One week back in the USA after 10 years of living in Europe — and it’s a lot to take in. From a chaotic 12.5-hour flight dosed on 75mg of gummies to hitting the Chill Steel Bong with Watermelon Skittles flower while catching up with family, Fordee’s LA homecoming is a crash course in reverse culture shock, munchie priorities, and stoner survival skills.

One Week Back in the USA: The Stoner Homecoming

After a decade in Spain, coming back to Los Angeles is both familiar and strange. The first order of business: hit the Chill Steel Bong with some Sluggers Watermelon Skittles — 28% THC, smooth, and a flavor that absolutely lives up to its name. The cotton candy glitter Chill Bong is the perfect travel piece — steel construction means it survived the suitcase journey without a scratch, only the glass bowl needed protection.

The week was packed: family time with the sister, niece, and nephew, In-N-Out pilgrimages, a Danish village detour, and a casino trip with mom. Being one week back in the USA is a reminder of both what you missed and what you’ve grown past.

5 Stoner Adventures from One Week Back in the USA

1. The 12.5-Hour Flight from Hell — 75mg of gummies before takeoff. The neighbor elbowing into your space, a guy behind you playing footsie with your seatback, and a baby’s older brother melting down — all experienced in high-def stoned clarity. The choice: say something aggressive or ride it out. Being too stoned to argue turned out to be a feature, not a bug. Level Airlines food? Genuinely horrible. The gummies made it edible.
2. Immigration After 10 Years — No stamps in the passport (renewed it in Europe), slightly nerve-racking computer pause at the immigration window, and then… nothing. Bags not checked, waved right through. After 10 years away, back on American soil in under 5 minutes.
3. In-N-Out Burger Disappointment (and Redemption) — A decade of hyping up In-N-Out to European friends, and the first bite after landing was… salty. Too salty. The taste buds had adapted to European food. Fortunately, after two more visits and a simple “light salt on the patty” request, the burger redeemed itself completely. Classic In-N-Out: fresh, never frozen, no frills, exactly right.
4. Solvang — Danish Village Near Santa Barbara — Paula’s Pancake House in Solvang is not to be missed. Half pancake, half crepe, topped with fruit and whipped cream. Add a Danish sausage on the side and blaze beforehand for maximum effect. Santa Barbara is worth the trip on its own — Solvang is the bonus stop that makes it memorable.
5. Chumash Casino with Mom — Everyone at the casino looked miserable. Slot machines, blank stares, no one smiling. The antidote: yell, dance, and be a fool to give mom good juju at the slots. It annoyed the other gamblers, which only made it more fun. Being stoned in a casino doing a repetitive task is fine; being sober at a casino doing a repetitive task is a different experience entirely.

Blazing Gear for the One Week Back in the USA Trip

The Chill Steel Bong was the home base piece for the trip — indestructible enough to pack in a suitcase, easy to keep spotless for travel, and delivering proper bong rips with ice when needed. For on-the-go use during the week, the DynaVap HyperDyn with wand kept things dialed in without needing a lighter. A Delta Munchies Diamond Vape disposable rounded out the kit for quick sessions away from home.

One solid travel tip: make sure any piece you travel with is spotlessly clean before airport security — even if you’re flying into a cannabis-legal state. The Chill Bong’s steel construction means no worrying about it breaking in transit, which removes one major stress point from cannabis travel entirely.

Europe vs USA: Stoner Culture Observations

After 10 years in Spain, being one week back in the USA makes certain cultural contrasts obvious. American food portions are massive, fast food is genuinely faster, and the sheer variety of cannabis products available legally is staggering compared to what you can access in most of Europe. On the flip side, the taste buds adjust — American food tastes saltier than you remember, and the pace of life is noticeably different.

Cannabis-wise, having access to legal dispensaries with premium flower — Sluggers Watermelon Skittles, Pandora’s Box, Cali Gas OG — is a genuine luxury. The ability to walk into a shop and pick up exactly what you want, labeled with precise THC percentages, is something Europe hasn’t fully caught up with yet.